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[BFSMP]

.... I feel a little green!   

I  just fainted...........need a brandy, quick, please.

[inertia]

There did used to be a hover vacuum cleaner when I was a kid, I seem to remember it as a round chrome ball.....

Strewth Martin - I never realised you were that old http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/hoover-constell-28319
DM

[Martin (Admin)]

 That's the one DM!!!   

   I think they was still around a decade or so later!  

[RAAArtyGunner]

Strewth Martin - I never realised you were that old http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/hoover-constell-28319
DM

   Well, I am not going to tell you that they were also available here in OZ.     

[Bob K]

I have been working hard on a hover vacuum

Ooops Andrew, maybe not such a 'dumb idea' after all.  Nice try though 

[tigertiger]

Won't float up the blinkin' stairs though. 

[Nemo]

I seem to remember a plan during WW2 when the US  invasion of southern France was being prepared. Someone had a bright idea to pack landing craft with explosives, and guided by radio-control to the mined beaches where they would detonate and make landings safer for troops.  It never occurred to the planners that the radio frequency to be used was the same as the German shore communication and the resulting chaos when the landing craft went out of 'control', went round in circles, hit the wrong beach and even turned round and headed for the invasion fleet. Destroyers had to be called in to, ahem, destroy the manic landing-craft, after which, the idea was abandoned. Dumb, eh?     

[U-33]

Reference damaging one's male parts...whilst out in the back communial lawns flying my Chinook, something caught the corner of my eye. I lost concentration for a millisecond, but in that time the heli had turned full circle, and was flying backwards...straight into my 'gentleman's area'.


Now, as you'll know, a Chinook has a lot of blades which revolve at quite a high speed.

To say it hurt would be an understatement...

[canabus]

Voting in an election!!!!
Aussie's go to the polls on Saturday!!!
Which one DUMB or DUMBER!!!!!!! 

[canabus]

Chinese pilot was aiming for the chin but hit you in  the nooks!!!

[Netleyned]

I seem to remember a plan during WW2 when the US  invasion of southern France was being prepared. Someone had a bright idea to pack landing craft with explosives, and guided by radio-control to the mined beaches where they would detonate and make landings safer for troops.  It never occurred to the planners that the radio frequency to be used was the same as the German shore communication and the resulting chaos when the landing craft went out of 'control', went round in circles, hit the wrong beach and even turned round and headed for the invasion fleet. Destroyers had to be called in to, ahem, destroy the manic landing-craft, after which, the idea was abandoned. Dumb, eh? 

Trust the Germans not to use a pegboard 


Ned

[TailUK]

I was changing a battery in a portable radio and having taken the old 9V battery out (the kind with the 2 press studs on the end) I dropped the battery in my trouser pocket and fitted the new one.  Battery changed I started to tune the radio in to Radio 1 and then noticed extreme heat building up in my nether regions and smoke coming out of my pocket.  I realised at once that the 9V battery despite being almost completely discharged was shorting out across my spare change (not a euphemism!)
 I was desperately fishing in my pocket to retrieve the battery when, the now, red hot coins burned through my pocket and fell down my trouser leg. Gyrating around I managed to kick the coins out of the cuff of my trousers and on to the floor at which point my gaffer looked up from his newspaper and said "Found something you can dance too, then?"

[Brian60]

Won't float up the blinkin' stairs though. 

I remember my auntie being very proud of hers around 1963 or so when I was but a wee nipper.

[Nemo]

Talk about dumb! If I had bought my wife one of these for her Christmas I know where she would have put it!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oK_v76vkVMs

[RAAArtyGunner]

Surprisingly there were a lot more dumb blokes around those days, as every second home had one.

[roycv]

Hi all, when I was young, innocent and did not think too far ahead I decided to clean out the gutters on my newly acquired house.  I borrowed my neighbours wooden ladder and cheerfully went up to shovel out the 'sand' (cement roof tiles?).  I half filled the bucket and decided to go down and move the ladder further along.
I got down about 5 steps before gravity took over as I was now a lot heavier than when I went up!  The rung I was on collapsed as did all those below and I ended standing up on the ground with the ladder sides supporting me under my arms.
I should have taken note of Gerard Hoffnung' s dire warnings of similar events in his 1958 address to the Oxford Union.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiossOtTvso  Be prepared to wipe the tears from your eyes!

I was not hurt apart from pride just being very surprised.
My neighbour took back his ladder and did not require any compensation as I think he was glad it was me not him!
regards Roy

[malcolmfrary]

Also in song - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxaCfJfw6AY

[Plastic - RIP]

Hi all, when I was young, innocent and did not think too far ahead I decided to clean out the gutters on my newly acquired house.  I borrowed my neighbours wooden ladder and cheerfully went up to shovel out the 'sand' (cement roof tiles?).  I half filled the bucket and decided to go down and move the ladder further along.
I got down about 5 steps before gravity took over as I was now a lot heavier than when I went up!  The rung I was on collapsed as did all those below and I ended standing up on the ground with the ladder sides supporting me under my arms.
I should have taken note of Gerard Hoffnung' s dire warnings of similar events in his 1958 address to the Oxford Union.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiossOtTvso  Be prepared to wipe the tears from your eyes!

I was not hurt apart from pride just being very surprised.
My neighbour took back his ladder and did not require any compensation as I think he was glad it was me not him!
regards Roy

I've done exactly the same - except I didn't get to the ground - I stopped when the broken rungs had dug into my leg and ripped my leg open from ankle to hip.